Tearing Down Walls And Building Bridges
Our family was in a hurry trying to get to the next meeting, we had just begun deputation and had just finished our very first missions conference. It was a wonderful week, but somewhat stressful trying to learn a proper schedule for our family.
We quickly packed our bags and headed out the door, checked out of our hotel room and loaded the girls in the car. I was putting the baby in her carseat when I decided, I had better run in the restroom before getting in the car. I spoke to my husband and told him I was going to use the restroom in the lobby. I set my phone down in my seat and my oldest daughter decided she wanted to go too. We slipped in the ladies bathroom and planned to be in and out quickly. After washing my hands I went to open the door and the handle would not turn, I gripped it again and it would not budge. it was completely jammed. I felt my heart beat faster and I looked at my little girl, she was looking at me wanting me, her mother to get us out. I knocked on the door and felt myself begin to panic. I stopped and sat down on the floor, the room was getting smaller, I could actually feel the walls closing in on me. I did the only thing I knew to do, I SCREAMED AND YELLED AND BEAT ON THE DOOR AS HARD AS I COULD, but no one heard me. I felt like I was about to really lose it, so in order to keep myself calm, I sat down in the floor and put my hands over my face hoping to hide the panic, I thought to myself, Certainly my husband will miss us soon.. then I whispered, “Lord, I need you to get me out of here” about that time, I looked up and recessed into the wall was the paper towel dispenser and trash can, there was just enough room in the top right corner for my fingers. My thought was I would pull it out and it would be open on the other side. Well I gently pulled at first, but then my adrenaline picked up, I pulled it straight out of the wall and to my dismay there was another wall. But there was no turning back, I had to get out of that little tiny room. I picked the trash/paper towel unit up and smashed it into the wall, it dented it just enough, I didn’t care that I had flip flops on, I had to get out of that room that was swallowing me up, I took my foot and kicked the wall, it took several times before the hole was big enough for me to get through. I made my escape, right into the mens bathroom, I was so thankful it was empty. I assume had someone been in there, he would have found himself an exit when the wall came crashing in.
I climbed through the hole and my daughter was right behind me. Thankfully the mens door opened right away. Sweaty, Red-Faced and Covered in sheetrock dust, I walked out to the front desk and complained about the lock in the ladies bathroom. I think they were shocked when they saw the large hole in the wall between the ladies and mens bathroom. My husband finally came in after being told what had happened and kindly apologized and offered to pay for the damages. Their reply was, no need to pay, just get your wife and go. I was really calm, but I was very upset, they said they heard banging, but thought it was the construction crew that was renovating. Its been several years and of course now we laugh.
One thing I have learned is that I have walls in my life that trap me, these walls are traps and snares of Satan, and many times I am the one that locked the door and the only way out is to tear a wall down. I have allowed walls of anger, bitterness, pride, selfishness, fear, depression and anxiety. During the times of my life that I have struggled, God has made me aware of the trap that I am in, I can feel the walls close in on me and my life becomes overtaken, the only way out is to fully surrender to God and tear down these walls.
The Lesson Learned
I am so thankful to the Lord for the lessons that he has taught me through the years. Sadly I usually don’t learn the lesson the first time he tries to teach me.
There are many types of walls that Satan wants to build in your life, every single one of those walls will separate you not just from Godly friends and Family, but it will separate you from your Beloved, your Heavenly Father.
Satan doesn’t care who is hurt and he doesn’t care if you are hurt, his goal is to separate you so he can have you alone and slowly devour you. The bible tells us in 1Peter 5:8 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour”
When something is devoured it is gone, there is nothing left of it and that is exactly what Satan wants to do with you, He wants you gone, out of his way and out of use for the Lord.
One thing about these walls, you may tear them down, but they will always be a part of your life.
If you build a wall of bitterness, there will be people that are affected by that bitterness. One thing about bitterness is that it is contagious. If you have a bitter spirit and I am weak, I may walk away with that same bitterness and not even know how I became bitter.
Anger: many people struggle with this wall through their entire life. At times they feel that they have conquered this wall and all of a sudden it is there in their life and it is raging.
Selfishness: I believe most everyone deals with this at some point in their life, but to live in a state of selfishness is a terrible wall in your life that will keep you from serving your full potential for Christ.
Pride: Not only have I dealt with this in my own life, I have seen first hand how it destroys people. the Bible says.. Proverbs 16:18 “Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” If you build the wall of pride in your life, destruction is not far behind. Do not let pride fill your life.
Fear: This is a big one for me, I have always dealt with Fear. Fear of losing my parents, fear of not measuring up to others ideas, fear of losing my husband, fear of losing a child, fear of nothing, fear of everything, fear of fear.. and the list can go on and on.. The bible gives us so many reasons not to be fearful, yet many struggle with this wall on a daily basis..
1 Timothy 1:7 “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
Fear is never from the Lord, this is the reason I do my best not to put things into my life that bring fear. (movies, books etc. )
This wall is probably my biggest wall and I am constantly tearing it down.
Depression and Anxiety.. These two work together great with the fear. When you allow the wall of fear to be built in your life it strengthens the walls of Depression and Anxiety and those will cause your life to become very dark and eventually completely useless. God is strength, God is light,
Job faced depression and in Job 7:4 Job says, “When I lie down, I say, When shall I arise, and the night be gone? and I am full of tossing to and fro unto the dawning of the day.” Then in verse 13-15 he says, “When I say, My bed shall comfort me, my couch shall ease my complaint: Then thou scarest me with dreams, and terrifiest me through visions; So that my soul chooseth strangling, and death rather than my life. “
This is a perfect picture of depression, what an terrible trap to live in. Bust this wall down, don’t allow yourself to be controlled by depression. The Lord has given me great victory over both of these, yet they still creep in at times, but with the Lords help, I will never live in darkness again.
If you struggle with any of these walls, I beg you to give each one to the Lord, fill your mind and heart with His Word, pray constantly and talk to someone. If you keep it inside you will never have victory. There are so many struggling and if you talk through it, not only will you help someone else, you will help yourself.
I pray that you will allow God to help you bust down these walls in your life. God has a great plan for your life and as long as these walls surround you, you are not useful to the Lord and Satan has you exactly where he wants you.
Just remember 1 John 4:4
"Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world."