I Can Trust Jesus

The waiting room was almost empty and the doctor was cold and unfriendly, Ginny was so glad that her mother had gone with her that day. Ginny and her husband had been married for just a little over a year when they truly became concerned about having children. The doctor came in and explained that Ginny would not be able to conceive and if she did she would not be able to carry a baby.

 

What terrible news, “How in this world am I going to tell my husband?” she thought to herself. He loves children and we had planned on having lots and lots of babies.  Ginny wiped her tears away as her mother brushed back the curls that had fell across her face. Her mother looked into her eyes and said, “We know the Great Physician, and if He wants you to have children, you will ".  What comfort that brought to her heart.  Ginny and her husband Joseph had decided to give their child bearing to God and they told him they would be happy with how ever many kids, the problem was they never thought that number would be zero.

Joseph and Ginny wept, yet they put their trust in the Lord. The next few years were difficult, they went through lots of emotions, Joseph lost connections with his family and the hurt was so great, he went in to very deep depression. There were days that Ginny was afraid to leave him alone, afraid that she would come home and he would either be dead or gone. They truly thought they would lose their marriage. Ginny blamed herself because it was her fault she couldn't give him children. There were days when Ginny just didn't want to get out of bed. But when one was down the other prayed for them, when one was broken the other one mended.

The next 4 years they prayed and asked God for children. But at the end of each prayer they would always say, we trust you Lord. Even though they hurt and somedays didn't feel like they trusted the Lord, they were both determined to give their child bearing years to the Lord. 

One afternoon Ginny told her husband that she thought maybe, just maybe she was expecting. They rushed to the doctor and it was confirmed, she was expecting and was just about 8 weeks along. Tears flowed and they praised the Lord for such a miracle. They made sure to tell their church of this great miracle in their life.

A spring in their step and a bright smile on their faces, only lasted for 10 days.. and now, here she sits in the cold dark waiting room of the ER.  Joseph was stuck at work and could not get to her, but her mother sat with her she wiped the tears from her face and the sweat off her brow. Ginny sat there shivering in a cold sweaty and shocked state, her heart was broken and she was scared, was her precious baby really gone from her body? She sat thinking to herself, Why would God do this to me? I have trusted Him, I was so happy to give my baby to him and this is how he responds, miscarriage??"

Her mother looks at her and sees this lost little girl, that is not just in emotional pain. but physical pain as well. Ginny caught her mothers eye and although she wanted to be ok. she knew in her heart her baby was gone. Her mother looked at her and just prayed for the Lord to send comfort to her daughter, she had watched her throughout the day The labor pains had been so hard, now her body was in shock, she was shaking and cold, yet she was sweating.

A sweet friend of Ginny's sat with her while her mom took care of getting a blanket for her.
All Ginny wanted was her husband, he was her strength. Right as they were taking her back to be examined, here he was, her strength, she knew that she would be ok now.

 

Of course it was confirmed, their baby was gone, heartbroken and confused they left the hospital, hand in hand, holding onto the strength of each other. Had one actually spoke of how they were feeling, they would have crumbled spiritually. But they were strong for each other the best they could be.


Our hearts were broken and as the days went by all they could feel was numb. As Ginny put her few things into her scrapbook, she was reminded, “That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:” 1Peter 1:7 even though she didn’t want to thank God for the trial she knew that one day she would.
She closed her book and said to herself, “I don’t understand how I can miss someone so much that I have never met, but I am comforted with the fact that I will meet you one day, my precious, precious AJ Love!!”

 

(this is my story)

By Ginger Hodnett September 29, 2016

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